Dayumm! I hate my life at the moment, I hate everyone around me and I hate my parents for living me in this crappy place. Why did they live me here, I wish i was the one that was dead in that car crash…….Im so alone, i have no one to talk to EXCEPT this stupid computer..I want freinds, I want to go school and then again I dont, I want my parents, I want my old life back! And im hungry…..Well today im going to get a life, i really miss my parents but its their fault for living me. My mum told me the day before the car crash, that if she ever dies I have to stay with my grandmama..Im like hell to the no no..never i aint gonna live with that old thang…I dont miss my mum that much cause I never got along with her..but me and my dad! We’re boys…i miss him so much..he was like my best friend and its funny how people thought that my dad was my older bro..hahahhaha well dad if you ever have the chance to appear as a ghost and read my blog..i just want you to know that i miss you so badly..=(!
Anyways, today I decided to drop out of school..! I have no money to pay for it..and I dont want anyone else to pay for my education cause thats me mummy and daddys responsibility!!! And plus I ddnt like going to school much..and my dad knows it..yah noe!..Ohh and did I mention..Im living my home town tomorrow..its for the best anyways…theres to much tension here and i think them people from the house selling thingys is taking over our house..if thats what you call it…! Mann im goona miss this place…maybe someday ill come back and visit…its not the end of the world…
I cleaned up my house…for the first ever time in my lifee..and i came through picts and that…I cryed for a bit.! Its so quiet here….me and dad use taah play rugby in the house and I can here my mum yelling at us…hahhahah! Me and my dad made a hole in the wall once and then we coverd it up with the couch…my mum hasnt found out about it…lmao.! Gosshh, its not fare..that they have to leave..! It feels like theyre not gone, I can still feel theyre presence…everytime I walk through they rooms and evrytime I touch the photo albums..man i miss them! I think im gonna be sick soon if i dont stop thinking about them..
Somehow I was thinking of my mum..so i called her work and asked for her…then the my mums boss came on the phone and started counselling me..I was like…hmmmm what the hell..? lolz..what are you talking about…then i realised that my mums dead…so i hanged up.! I really wish that this is a dream…but everytime I open my eyes, something have to tell me that mum and dad arent here no more…I really have to live this house and somehow I want to move on with my life…but i dont want to… I got a call from one of dads best freinds..he just got back from China and I dont think he knows… he asked to speek to dad..then I called my dad and no one answered…normally my dad would be like..”Who is it?” or “Im coming!”..I kept calling dad..then I burstd into tears and startd to realise that dad is gone….i told him that dads gone…and he asked where..? so i had to be the gossiper and told him..all I can here is him yelling at me to give the phone to my dad! he doesnt believe that mum and dad dont excist in our world no more..can someone at least gve this guy a slap in the head for me..so hell understand..so i hanged up on him..hhaha thast what he get…stupid freek..
I am soo hungry…and I seriusly dont know how to cook…so i ate icecream instead like who does that in this cold weather…if my mum was here shell kill me for doing this…! hahahahah….I miss my mums cooking…theyre yummy ass esp dads deserts..MMMMMM…if mum and dad ever comes back ill get them to cook for me…danngg. if they ever…i feel so sick.! i dont know if its because of the icecream or that im thinkng of mum and dad to much….todays thursday! wow..me and dad wer supose to go basketball tranings…but looks like im not goin..i think i should just stay home and talk to myself..im not in the mood of seeing people and im not use to going tranings without my dad. My dad has been to all of my games…but mum hasnt been to any…and i meann any..! she hasnt seen me play..which is pretty sad of her, shes always busy with work..shes an workaholic! One of them ones..
I went outside to get some fresh air….and i can feel cold breeze brushing my hair back..my dad use to do that all the time…I actually thought that it was dad…but when i opened up my eyes..it was just the wind..Dad i miss you so much…I wish you wer still here..why d u have to leave me…WHY? please come back..ill do everything in my power to get you and mum back…even if I had to deal with the devil to get you guys back…:( thats how much i miss you guys…GOD what do you want me to say to bring my parents back..please! im so alone..i really am i never felt like this before..I feel like im cursed or something…
Mum, Dad..im leaving home today…i really dont want to…but im gonna die here if I keep thinking that you guys are still here…I have to move on with my life…no matter how hard it is to do that..but as what you guys always tell me…that “Someday I have to learn to Stand on my own two feet.!”..i dont know wer ill bee going…but itll be far away from here..i love you guys so much and i miss you so badly…I have to go back up my stuff and clean up the rest of the house..love you..
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